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Joke of the Day

"Patient: ""It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."" Dentist: ""I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."""

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"Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events."
"Why Americans are so bad in geography? They are taking the geography lessons from their Canadian neighbors in the south."
"Ice cream is clearly God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby."
"[Changes Siri to male] ME: Siri, tell me the MALE SIRI: Listen, here's what you need to know. ME: I... MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I'm speaking"
"Why did Al Gore have to schedule a dentist appointment? Because of an inconvenient tooth."
"Europe is looking amazing right now. It lost a few pounds recently."
"When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul's Day"
"Tombstone request: Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin. The engraver shortened it to: "" Returned unopened."""
"How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass? Surprisingly pleasing."