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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you wouldn't know it."

"How many reposters does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to steal it first."

"As you get older dating becomes a lot like Musical Chairs. The music stops, everyone sits down and you're left with the last idiot standing."

"*Ahem, ahem* So... A needle pulling thread... "

"Once a clock was very tired.. What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night? 1 AM feeling very sleepy."

"I am never too old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night."

"Why did Jesus quit playing hockey? Because he kept getting nailed to the boards"

"I told my lawyer I wanted to seek the death penalty against my wife. He said that's not how a divorce works."

"What were the photocopier's last words? Good night, sweet prints..."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A.I.D.S."