17009
Joke of the Day
"Chef's favorite personal dish? Stroganoff"
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"What is the difference between Issac Newton and the 5 year old i just stabbed to death? Issac Newton died a virgin."
"I got up early to watch the sunrise And then it dawned on me."
"Let's legalize all drugs so Americans finally learn the metric system."
"You know you're a Star Trek fan when you... hate Voyager and you've only seen every episode one time."
"Waiting for Bernie Sanders to come out from under the ring and hitting someone with a steel chair to claim the presidential belt."
"Some call it alcoholism, I call it ""keeping my emotions hydrated"""
"My doctor said I shouldn't hug people, admittedly it was 10 years ago when I had the flu but I still use that one."
"[baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby."
"The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The reposter says the glass is half full"