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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Issac Newton and the 5 year old i just stabbed to death? Issac Newton died a virgin."

"I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping."

"My grandfather went to the doctor The doctor said he has the body of a 21 year old, who smokes, drinks, and does hard drugs."

"*job interview HR: Can you name one of your strengths? Me: Sure. I'll call it Giselle."

"I was worried my circle jerk wouldn't go as planned... but in the end everyone came together."

"Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: ""Me sick, no work"" Boss SMS back: ""When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"" 2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss: ""Me ok, ur wife very sweet"""

"What's a loli's favourite car? A Niisan."

"The Madame opened up a new sporting-house with an eye to cutting costs. She had all the rooms on one story to cut out the fuckin' overhead."

"I bought a 32ft ruler. For extreme measures."

"I have a friend that's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop anytime."