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Joke of the Day
"How do make a car top? 'Tep on the brake 'tupid."
Next Joke
"Interviewer: Where do you want to be in 5 years? Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then."
"Marriage is full of surprises but it's mostly just asking each other ""do you have to do that right now?"""
"How come when someone goes to sit down and the seat is dirty they use their hand to wipe the seat then wipe their dirty hands on their pants? What was the point"
"Why did God create stock analysts? In order to make weather forecasters look good."
"""?leef uoy ekam taht did woh dnA"" - reverse psychology"
"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons."
"Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert"
"I bought my girlfriend 2 presents for her birthday I got her a new pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."
"Would headphones get tangled in space? no, they would knot"