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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Where do you want to be in 5 years? Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then."

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"""Do you have any children?"" Hannibal: ""Freezer. Bottom, right."""
"If I ever get married, I'm not wearing white. Nothing to do with the whole virginity thing, and everything to do with being a sloppy eater."
"Did you hear about the new Jewish Sports Car? It stops on a dime then picks it up."
"If there's one thing I'm better at than everyone else... It's humility."
"Control this is astronaut Douglas sending transmission from the Milky Way..we have no signs of chocolate..or caramel..I'd like to come home"
"Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open."
"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decaffeinated"
"How can you tell a man from a woman Well, there's not really a vas deferens"
"How many light bulbs does it take to change a man? Just one, if you put it in the right place."
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