178847

Joke of the Day

"[being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: ...yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]"

"Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene? Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D I came up with this myself. I'm so proud."

"I've never considered myself a social butterfly. More like a social wasp. People run away a lot."

"How do you start a racist joke? With a small million dollar loan from his father."

"""I love the north pole and hate the south pole!, wait I love the south pole and hate the north pole!"" ~ a bi-polar bear"

"Have you heard the joke about the girl with Progeria? It got old pretty fast. (I know, it's awful)."

"A three legged dog walked into a bar and said ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"Im at the swamp does anyone need anything"

"Wife : don't forget to pick up the kids at the school Me : why"

"Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb? It's blowing up"