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Joke of the Day
"Won a time machine on Ebay. Disappointed when I received a clock."
Next Joke
"After nine years of being together, I finally got down on one knee. And begged her to take it up the arse."
"I am friends with 25 letters from the alphabet I don't know y EDIT: Credits to Chris Turner."
"A man brings his wife as Aspirin... She says, 'Why did you bring me this? I don't have a headache.' He says, 'Good, let's fuck!'."
"What did Pikachu say to Ash Catchem? Pikachu"
"*pops out of casket at funeral* ok but when I actually die you guys better have nicer things to say"
"Why did Rosemary get kicked out of the spice rack? For swallowing Poppy's Seed"
"Why don't women need umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen."
"Prank Idea: Toss some red laundry in the ocean and turn the great white sharks into the great pink sharks."
" I'm like a bird, I'll only swim away, I don't know what a bird is "