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Joke of the Day

"A man brings his wife as Aspirin... She says, 'Why did you bring me this? I don't have a headache.' He says, 'Good, let's fuck!'."

"Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA put a man on the moon. We put a bird into pigs."

"Why are do many Italian-Americans named Tony? When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had ""To NY"" on their hats."

"What did the seamen say to each other when they entered a deep dark cave? Smells fishy"

"""Could you eat scrambled eggs even if you had no saliva?"" and other things my wife did not want to talk about at brunch"

"Why did the Muslim cross the road? His dick was stuck in the goat"

"Sorry I said you looked like black Garfield in your Catwoman costume."

"Dear investors, I'd like to make a chap stick called ""food court Chinese food."" Please snapchat if interested."

"Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL"

"I never got a single blow job when I was at school. Other kids got sent to the head master all the time."