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Joke of the Day
"Why is a baby like an diamond? Because it's a dear little thing."
Next Joke
"I wish just once in one of those ""What's in her bag"" magazine spreads they actually showed tampons and cocaine."
"I always wanted to know what it felt like to blow $85k So today I stood in front of Annex Hall and asked the first art major I saw."
"A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, ""How does the chef prepare the chicken?"" The waiter replies, ""He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"""
"'I am your God, and now it is night!' I say as I turn the fish tank light off."
"Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't."
"Justin Beiber fell off stage last night at a concert in Canada. He suffered only minor injuries according to his gynecologist."
"Women are like campfires. Beautiful, hot, smell great, warm your heart. And, both don't like it if you pee on them. Mostly."
"How can you tell when a Canadian is successful? He dies in his LA home at 82."
"I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten."