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Joke of the Day

"You know, there's one thing I have yet to witness in life. A crippled stand-up comedian."

"Why is the archaeologist sad? Because his career is in ruins."

"Why isn't Edward leaving Russia? ...because he's snowed in."

"I wish there was a show called ""Lifestyles of the Twitter Famous"" so we could all see how nice your mom's basement is."

"What about that new beer... by Peter Cotton Ale? It's made with more hops!"

"Idea: Always carry around a chicken, so if you're murdered your chalk outline won't just be the same old boring shit."

"That time in 1997 you found out Chris Rock & Chris Tucker are 2 different people & realized you're racist. #thatwasawkward"

"[text] Her: I picked up buffalo wings. Me: * moves furniture around * rolls out plastic sheeting"

"What do you call a prostitute that has sex for free? A priest."

"I have to make a best man's speech at my brother's wedding next month. I need a few jokes to liven up my speech. Any ideas?"