210575

Joke of the Day

"Idea: Always carry around a chicken, so if you're murdered your chalk outline won't just be the same old boring shit."

"Now I know why girls call me handsome If a threesome is with three, and a twosome is with two, now I know why they call me handsome :)"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers."

"What would my hippie side be doing right now? I already know that"

"My music preferences range between something your grandma would listen to, to something that could potentially kill her."

"Brutally honest? I'm always honest ... I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth"

"Gay or straight, No state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding."

"I think I know why the black iPhone is completely faster than my white one. I am also very racist."

"What do your mother and a marathon have in common? They are both doable as long as you don't mind following a bunch of black guys."

"Prostitutes are like cigarettes. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. When you start getting older, you think, ""why not just once?"". Soon enough, you're addicted. And broke."