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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing with my life in 5 years... I mean, come on, it's not like I have 2020 vision."

Next Joke
 
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a baby who just got HIV? I didn't rape Donald Trump"
"What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks? Milk and quackers."
"My grandfather could never throw anything away... That's why he died in the war holding a hand grenade"
"How many states of matter are there? 5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives"
"Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the other side."
"When my wife says ""I don't want to talk about it"" that's woman code for you better put your life on hold for 2 hours & find out what ""It"" is"
"My new years resolution is going well, lost 10 pounds! but that was down the back of my sofa...."
"Date me? You can't afford the maintenance to keep me. Vodka, high heels, steak, shiny clothes, tonic, Victoria's Secret, and bail money."
"Wanna hear a bondage joke? Sorry I'm all tied up at the moment"