193092

Joke of the Day

"How many states of matter are there? 5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives"

"I wake up easy most of the time, but every now and then, I wake up hard."

"I just bought a Christmas tree and my buddy asked, ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, I was thinking the living room."""

"Why did the rock band get in serious treble? They failed on a consistent bassist."

"I like dating black girls Because I don't have to meet their dads"

"Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I've had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds."

"which came first the chicken or the egg? The rooster"

"Did You Hear About the Man Who Went to The North Pole? He isn't doing so hot."

"""Sir your resume says you can read minds."" ""Yup. And you're thinking 'Why would he put that on a resume?'"" ""Oh. My. God. You're hired."""

"An atom loses an electron... It says, ""man, I really gotta keep an ion them."" Edit: RIP inbox, nearly thought Reddit Au was coming Edit 2: First Reddit au! Thanks kind stranger!"