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Joke of the Day

"Date me? You can't afford the maintenance to keep me. Vodka, high heels, steak, shiny clothes, tonic, Victoria's Secret, and bail money."

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"What's the definition of Parity? Two parrots exactly the same!"
"What's a dentists favorite time of day? Tooth-Hurty"
"Would you rather have parkinsons or alzheimers? Personally I'd rather have parkinsons, cos I'd rather have half a pint than forget where I've put it!"
"You know how to tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick taste like blood."
"Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everyone can roast beef"
"How much semen does a gay guy have? A butt load."
"Idea: Always carry around a chicken, so if you're murdered your chalk outline won't just be the same old boring shit."
"What do you award to someone who comments in a thread from a month ago? Reddit Old"
"What questioned started the Holocaust? What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
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