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Joke of the Day

"My friend started making bird puns towards me. Toucan play at that game!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because the 7 didn't fucking bend."

"What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!"

"If Socrates had been a woman, he would've said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear."

"How did harry potter get down the hill? Walking, Jk rowling"

"If you get mixed up when you read with your fingers, you're just Braillely dyslexic."

"Why do gay men have great skin? Because they respect and take care of their bodies, you homophobic piece of shit."

"""If I weigh 400 pounds and can lift 600 pounds, shouldn't I be able to fly by lifting the chair I'm sitting in?"""

"It's been about 3 years since my last drink and I'm still hungover."

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? 'Cause they all have phones!"