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Joke of the Day

"You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener."

"How do you make a horomone? You refuse to pay her Courtesy of my grandmother"

"[Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time."

"Asking your mom, ""Will there be any pretty girls coming?"" Is a good way of getting out of going to your family reunion.."

"I heard a noise downstairs, so naturally I came down to investigate in my towel, post-shower. Exactly. I'M the idiot in a slasher film."

"Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls"

"The fun thing about wigs is when someone complements you on your hair, you can rip it off and say, ""Here. Take it. No, I insist."""

"My friend told me he wanted to find the electrical resistance of Jesus. I was like ""Ohm my God!"""

"Little Shop of Horrors should have taken place in Russia. Because in Soviet Russia plant eats you!"

"How do all racist jokes start? *Looks over left shoulder* *Looks over right shoulder*"