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Joke of the Day

"The Best Sean Connery Joke In EXISTENCE! (Read in Mr. Connery's voice) Ash I wash walking through my houshe, a book fell on me. I had only myshelf to blame."

"It's impossible to touch your elbows behind your back. You just pushed your boobs towards me."

"Who sang the song that goes... ...""that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I really love your tiger feet""?"

"Who can beat any burger at golf? Any LINKS sausage!"

"you can't say ""i'm bored"" as an adult because if you have time to be bored then you should just be napping. wow you're bad at adulting"

"What's 9 inches long, pink, and women scream when you put in their mouth? Their miscarriage"

"I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it ""cooking"""

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but its kinda hard to get em in there."

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."

"The man said to his mime... ""I'm afraid I have to fire you."" The mime replied, ""Why the fuck am I fired?"""