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Joke of the Day

"I think I was Italian, in a pasta life."

"Weird; People in my office have started naming the food in the company fridge. Today I ate a tuna sandwich named Kevin."

"When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can't get any worse, please remember...I don't give a shit."

"Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you."

"What did the turkey say to the goat? The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble. The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up."

"ISIS ""Preventing the theft of unattended baggage since 1989"""

"The past, present, and future walked into a bar... It was tense."

"thank you all for donating to my gofundme to pay for my surgery; I have decided to buy 600 playstations with the money"

"So I met a terrorist the other day and asked him about his ethnicity. You wanna know what he said? I don't know, by then I ran."

"""Is this the burn ward?"" ""Yes can I help you?"" ""You need to admit my mom, I told her that her casserole was ass-erole."" ""Stop calling here."""