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Joke of the Day

"So I met a terrorist the other day and asked him about his ethnicity. You wanna know what he said? I don't know, by then I ran."

"Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down."

"My downstairs neighbor thinks I'm a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that's what she wrote in her diary."

"This morning, my son farted in church I made him sit in his own pew."

"Only 50 more days til we find out who's our next President! Last time I was nauseous 50 days straight, at least I got a baby out of it!"

"Polish remover Hitler. The game Sequence has a wicked sense of humor."

"I don't wanna ruffle any feathers here, but... *blows gently on a baby duck*"

"Humor: the only thing I like dry."

"Baby monitors are magical When I turn it off my baby stops crying"

"I'm starting an Atheist corporation... it's a non-prophet organization."