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Joke of the Day

"Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you."

"Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer? He had loco motives"

"The good thing about being tall is, you can't get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can't get lost in a crowd."

"No ""It's not complicated"". One of you is just a dumbass."

"My wife left me due to my obsession for classical music.. I hope she takes me Bach"

"What are most incarcerated inner-city youths locked up for? Some bullshit"

"Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?"

"Teacher: Does anyone have questions? Me: If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? T: Holy Shit"

"My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. Rather a few layers."

"You know what they say about poorly produced pornography... You never see it coming."