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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic? Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog"

"What do you call it when you marry your male cousin? Your Cuzband"

"Why are Skeleton's so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"[swirls, sniffs and sips red wine] Yes, this is delicious. I will have a glass. Ma'am, this is a church, let go of the cup and sit down."

"[on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? ""Tell me why."" [winks at tattoo artist] No reason."

"Life is Like a Penis Simple, soft, and relaxed - then women make it hard."

"[Pickup] got a dank sub woofer for $100 today whoops wrong sub"

"What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal."

"50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi."

"Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground? It didn't have any pickups"