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Joke of the Day
"What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal."
Next Joke
"*waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*"
"Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin"
"BLONDE BRAIN Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it."
"What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong? A mistake"
"Top 5 birth control methods 1. pills 2. hysterectomy 3. jean jackets 4. crocs 5. putting ketchup all over the fries instead of on the side"
"How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute"
"Me: I'm way tougher than you. Wife: I gave birth twice without an epidural. Me: So? Wife: You called in sick for an ice cream headache."
"How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm? They always have several lairs."
"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."