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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both substitute meats."

"Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*"

"What did the double dick guy say when the tailor asked him if he dresses right or left? Yes."

"What do you call a canadian enchilada? A centimeter-alada"

"Today I had an allergic reaction to a peanut... **This title contains content from FINE BROTHERS ENTERTAINMENT who has it blocked on copyright grounds.**"

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"Got kicked outta Starbucks for trying to order a venti mocha choca latta ya-ya creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaade."

"Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic."

"An electrical engineer is talking to a blonde the blonde asks: ""What do you do for a living?"" The engineer replies "" I make chips"" ""Oh yummy!"""

"There was a girl in my school with breasts on her back. She wasn't much to look at, but she never missed a slow dance."