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Joke of the Day
"Is your phone in your back pocket? Because that ass is calling me!"
Next Joke
"I drank half a bottle of NyQuil and tried to call Audrey Hepburn on my microwave"
"Why was the atom laughing? Because part tickles."
"You say kidnapping. I say surprise adoption. Tomato, Tomahto Get in the van."
"What sound does a cheating chicken? Cuck."
"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*"
"Republicans: Don't let Syrians in! Trump: Don't let ANY Muslims in! Republicans: TOO FAR (dude be cool, we've got an election to win)"
"A girl goes to the doctor, he takes out his stethoscope and says ""okay, big breaths."" To which the girl says ""yeah, and I'm only thixteen."""
"What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits? Make it sew number 1!"
"whats the deal with shemales? you don't call them she, and they're not male"