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Joke of the Day

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!"

"Me: BOOP! teehee! Cop: .. Me: sorry. did you want me to touch MY nose?"

"How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome"

"Be a part of history! Die in a catastrophic natural disaster."

"Why don't vampires like steak? Because it's bad for their heart."

"I had to stop my blonde sister from eating pickles I got tired of having to pry the damn jar off of her head"

"college is a lot like kindergarten except instead of going to school im smoking weed in my dorm at 1 pm"

"what is in common between h.clinton and ronda rousey? they both won the popular vote"

"Did you know King Solomon made love to 1000 virgins but he never enjoyed great sex :-P"

"What does a door and a jar have in common? They both are ajar."