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Joke of the Day
"My teeth are so crooked they should run for office."
Next Joke
"If Usain Bolt ever becomes a zombie we are all screwed."
"ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope"
"Well, if it doesn't include antidepressants, they shouldn't call it a Happy Meal."
"People say I am condescending. THAT MEANS I TALK DOWN TO PEOPLE."
"Who has the largest pupils? A sumo instructor."
"cause baby now we've got baaathtubs you know we soaking in maaad suds so take a loofah for baaack scrubs cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]"
"At this point most of the hugs I'm involved in are just my kids using me as a napkin."
"I don't think The Proclaimers realized how far 500 miles really is."
"Dodger Stadium announces they are now offering a limited edition Duggar Dog... The wiener is so big you can share it with your sister."