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Joke of the Day

"I take a Viagra every night... It stops me from rolling out of bed."

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"Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick? To the Dock"
"My girlfriend is a pornstar She is going to be very pissed when she finds out."
"drugs lead to nowhere....but at least its the scenic route"
"What country has the strictest dress code? Thai-land."
"Why did the bicycle stop moving? Because it was two-tiered."
"What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus? ""Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"""
"Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what's going on and you just nod"
"There was a blackout in my town last night It's okay I called the police."
"I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it"