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Joke of the Day

"Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked."

"David Bowie was found in a three foot coffin. The coroner said it was a space oddity."

"""How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars,"" I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead"

"My wife complained the other day, ""Why did God give women periods with cramp pains and men nothing?"" I laughed and said, ""Don't be silly honey, he gave us women."""

"Turning off the downstairs lights and running upstairs so no one kills you"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.95, Deer nuts are under a buck."

"ad for letuce: do u- hey do u ever wish u coud eat water"

"Pimples on teenagers are asterisks on things they say* *Listener discretion is advised"

"Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you."

"Breaking both of your legs sucks. I can't stand being in a wheelchair."