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Joke of the Day
"My wife was raped by a mime He preformed unspeakable acts on her"
Next Joke
"My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today but my sweatpants were like nah girl you're good."
"""Monday's suck"" - Everyone. Apart from Ethiopian kids. For whom, every day sucks"
"[girl's night out] WIFE: I'm off then ME: Okay WIFE: Don't do anything obtuse ME: Pfft - give me a break! {5 min later} ME *googling obtuse*"
"Why did the Irishman eat only two hundred and thirty-nine beans? Because eating one more would have been two-farty."
"What do pirates call fat whores? LAND HO!"
"My girlfriend just found out I've been sleeping with a barmaid I just hope that none of this gets back to my wife!"
"i feel wrong i think im having a dyslexic stroke. i cant smell anything on the left side of my body and i feel toast."
"If you have to pick up 9 cans on your desk before you find the one with beer in it, you........ you'd forget the fucking punch line too."
"A fish walks into a bar ..and the bartender asks, ""What can I get ya?"" And in a very raspy voice the fish says, ""WATER"""