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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Irishman eat only two hundred and thirty-nine beans? Because eating one more would have been two-farty."

"I love rock and roll so put another dime in the juke box baby... then add ninety more cents to play one song."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Dad, I'm over here."

"A Serious Issue Alcohol poisoning is a liver die situation."

"I think I want to clean mirrors for a living It's just a job I can see myself doing"

"I probably shouldn't have spent $500 on that pair of leather sunglasses... But hidesight is 20/20, I suppose"

"What did Cinderella say when she got down to the ball? Mmmrrggglllrrsllurp"

"The CEO of Comcast dies and goes to heaven..."

"I met the donkey from Numbers 22... He was a pretty cool guy... What? Did you expect him to be an ass?"

"I often wonder how different it would be if I were to go back to grade school Not so much with the knowledge I have now, but with the penis I have now"