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Joke of the Day

"I can't decide what's scarier, someone scrolling through the pictures on my iPhone or someone scrolling through my Google search history."

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"guy A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""
"What's it like having sex with a wave? Fucking hertz."
"Jimmy Kimmel should have Floyd Mayweather read mean tweets after the fight Oh wait"
"Finally tried Viagra,... Damn near broke my hand!"
"Thanks, meeting venue that turns off the AC in the restrooms--I love emerging from taking a dump looking like I just ran a marathon!"
"Pop up ads are the Jehovahs witness of the internet."
"*1st date* [Be cool, just dont let her know youre a 1st generation PS3] So where do y- *internal cooling fan drowns out entire conversation*"
"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you eat with that..."
"In INTERSTELLAR, why does Tom's voice get higher when he's older? Answer: thedust"
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