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Joke of the Day

"guy A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"Someone tried to touch my ass without my permission. Safe to say, I'm not letting anyone on my farm again."

"Why did the wizard ask a pretty chick to throw a heavy box on him ? Not just the hard on............ it would've made him more flexible"

"What's Mary short for? She's got little legs, I guess."

"I went to the largest campsite in germany it was mein kampf by blitz creek"

"Ok so we get a deaf cat hear me out."

"There's probably one fireman in every house who likes to work the pole in front of the other guys ""as a joke."""

"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."

"Wife: Have you seen my razor? Me: [with only one eyebrow] I have not"

"Ever have the shower curtain touch you unexpectedly and start karate chopping the air?? No, me either."