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Joke of the Day

"Traffic Two civil engineers were competing for a bid to do the road layout for a city. The engineer that lost accused the other of cheating, to which the winner said ""Roundabouts are fair play""."

"What does a male prostitute say when his phone keeps ringing after he's seen 3 clients in a row? ""FOUR FUCKS ACHE!!"""

"Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? A rooster goes cockle-doodle-doo and and a prostitute goes any cock will do"

"Q: Why did the kid punch the bed? A: His mother told him to hit the hay."

"What did the alphabet have before it took a shit? A vowel movement."

"ALCOHOL: The nighttime laughing, slurring, blurring, shouting, pounding head, confidence, so you can turnt shit up medicine."

"I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone."

"My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks.. Yet after two weeks I'm still asian"

"How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch? pay him for the pizza."

"According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday."