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Joke of the Day

"ALCOHOL: The nighttime laughing, slurring, blurring, shouting, pounding head, confidence, so you can turnt shit up medicine."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... *Free*."

"Nerd crush in Star Wars originals was Carrie Fisher. Nerd crush in Star Wars Force Awakens... The stormtrooper who yells **""TRAITOR!**"

"Daughter asked me, ""Dad, who is your favorite Queen?"" I said, ""Friddie Mercury"" And another one bites the dust."

"My cat yells at me like she's my mother."

"What would Jimi Hendrix be doing today if he was still alive? Trying to get out of his grave."

"A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink called ""Innuendo"". So the barkeeper gives it to her."

"How do you like your juice? I like mine gassy and concentrated."

"Did you hear about the man who got AIDS? He was fucked."

"[Knee-slappin, terrible OC] Why was the nun named ""NPN""? She was a trans-sister! *** I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke"