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Joke of the Day

"When you f**k up a coded message and have to send it again Re morse"

"Why are the whores in the docks never hungry? There are so much seamen there."

"The next time someone says ""expect the unexpected,"" I'm going to punch them in the nose and ask if they expected that."

"Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election"

"Do you know the story of Flap Flap The Giraffe? Flap Flap The Giraffe was walking around the savannah, when a helicopter came in to land. The giraffe looked up, and then :::flap flap::: the giraffe!"

"9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"

"Two electrons walk into a bar and... The Big Bang Theory is the worst. I would sooner stab my eyeballs with a pen than watch it"

"Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look Mum! No hands! Look Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look Mum! No teeth!'"

"Church basketball What do you call a group of nuns who's into basketball? Slam NUNk Who's their MVP? Stephen Mary"

"Apparently, ""Dude, that's the best she's EVER going to look"" was not the type of objection to the marriage the priest was asking about."