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Joke of the Day

"Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election"

"This weekend is daylight savings time, which means the clock on my microwave will be right again."

"So many people have the name of their university in their bio. ""Nice to meet you, this is who tricked me out of 50 thousand dollars"""

"So this Roman guy... This Roman guy walks into a Tavern, raises two fingers and yells, 'five beers please!'"

"Woman:""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"" Man: ""Either way love, we'll be having sex in a minute"""

"People say Money talks... But all mine says is Goodbye."

"Why are pedophiles so annoying? they're just fucking immature assholes"

"Last night a kid came ""trick or treating"" at my place dressed as Gloria Gaynor. At first I was afraid."

"What do you throw on stage at a mouse strip club? Kraft Singles."

"Tried to make a joke in my math class and no one laughed. I think they were 2/10's."