168101

Joke of the Day

"""Did you realise that a woman's ""I'll be ready in five minutes"" and a man's ""I'll be home in five minutes"" are exactly the same?"""

"Why is Jesus' body bread? Because given enough time it rises"

"What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence."

"eating the classic new york dish we all know and love that's right the individually purchased sleeve of ritz crackers"

"How do japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konichihuahua"

"Some folks will spend the weekend having fun and enjoying themselves. We call these people ""Single""."

"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

"""Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!"" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today."

"My favorite musician pun ||: lather, rinse :||"