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Joke of the Day

"[interview] HIM: What are your strengths? ME: Well, I can see dead people. HIM: Wow, interesting. Any hobbies? ME: Grave digging"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Moby Dick? Moby is just named Dick but Trump is an actual dick."

"How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked."

"Seriously, if you hacked Trump's account and wanted to make him look bad, WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN TWEET."

"during my morning commute i like to make the ""roll down your window"" gesture to the car next to me then yell ""DID YOU POOP YET TODAY?"""

"Why did they have to put Michael Jackson down? Because he couldn't race anymore!"

"Have you heard the one about the dog on the roof? You wouldn't get it, it's over your head."

"I hear kleptomaniacs make the best detectives They pick up everything."

"Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys. I onder hich one."

"Teacher: What is the formula for water ? George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you ? George: Sure you said H to O !"