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Joke of the Day

"A roman walks into a bar... holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please!"""

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"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."
"I'm not saying your mom is fat but she'd be worth a lot more in the UK"
"4th of July is the one day if the year I willingly sit outside all day."
"Did you hear about the prostitute who got fired for going on strike? She just didn't give a fuck."
"Why is a pensioners vagina like a pork pie? Because you have to bite off the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meat."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? She wanted to lay it on the line."
"What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's sexual orientation? Bicepsual."
"What did the husband tell his wife to do after he slapped her? The same thing he told her the first time!"
"Oh Subway You got busted lying about how big it is, no worries we've been doing that for years. Sincerely; Guys"