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Joke of the Day

"After a long day of having my laptop fry my genitals, it feels good to lie in a dark room and have my phone screen fry my eyeballs."

"What do you call the stupidest fish in the sea? A dumb bass."

"I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day... Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate."

"Do you have a little Irish in you? Well... Would you like some?"

"What do you give a cannibal late for Sunday lunch? The cold shoulder"

"What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims? House blend."

"Everyone stop writing movies. Hollywood is just going to make every movie again every 13 years until we all die"

"What are your best/favorite anti-jokes?"

"I just got a job cleaning air ducts and I don't like it very much, but at least I have a job. Thanks for letting me vent."

"Shadow dancers begin making a mock hanging motion to Katy Perry's singing"