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Joke of the Day
"What do you give a cannibal late for Sunday lunch? The cold shoulder"
Next Joke
"Why don't priests like people having sex while standing? It might lead to dancing"
"Remember ""pantsing"" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants"
"What do you call someone who masturbates on a plane? A highjacker"
"If there's something weird in lands beyond the Wall and it don't look good Who you gonna call? Nine Wun Wun"
"For the first time in forever, I used the term ""oopsie-daisy"". Couldnt be avoided. I mean what else do you say when you drop someone's baby?"
"No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off."
"[HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't ""contract"" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it"
"Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza? Because he's shellfish!"
"Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain"