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Joke of the Day

"Surreal, wtf, insane Repost: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. lolwut Any similar?"

"Is BB hungry? No, BB-8."

"I like my sex like I like my tree forts No girls allowed"

"Why does Wall Street call Hillary ""Hillary Vuitton"" instead of ""Hillary Clinton"" ? Because they know she's in the bag ..."

"So I started chatting up this Asian girl after a little while she said, sex, sex, sex, free, sex for you. Her friend quickly pointed out that she was giving me her phone number 666-3642"

"I went on an extreme camping trip... It was in tents."

"I've just found my iPhone autocorrects ""cunt"" to ""Cynthia."" Which means somewhere in Steve Jobs' past is a woman with one HELL of a story."

"what kind of meat does a priest eat on fridays? Nun."

"The best thing about women is how they can tell you what you really mean when you say something..."

"Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense."