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Joke of the Day

"People that type in all caps are... Capitalists."

"I learned about genetic mutation in biology today. It was my first class."

"Some people are like Slinkys... Totally useless, but still fun to push down the stairs."

"Whats Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill? Walking... JK Rolling"

"What is a Coronal Mass Ejection? I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer."

"Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting? Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine."

"Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!"

"Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf."

"Superwife! Gets pissed faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound."

"Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter? He couldn't remove three nails to save his life"