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Joke of the Day

"A pilot, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar... I know because they told everyone within a minute."

"What do you call an envious ocean? A jealou'sea'"

"If you're 17 and your 200 year old lover won't turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he's just not that into you."

"What do bulimic stone masons do? Binge and parge."

"How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Secretly A Minivan"

"A deckhand comes up to the pirate captain. ""The cannons be ready, Captain,"" he reports. *""Are,""* the captain scornfully replies."

"From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!"

"It's hard to explain puns... It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally."

"I wish I had a little robot companion that put his arm out and shook his head at people who tried to talk to me before lunch."

"Can somebody help me debug Malaysian Flight Simulator? It keeps crashing unexpectedly :/"