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Joke of the Day

"The tag on this hot tub reads ""6 man"" when I clearly ordered a 1 man 5 woman hot tub. This one is going back!"

"Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*"

"The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping."

"Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: a cucumber"

"Anytime I see a motorcyclist weaving in and out of traffic and performing tricks I always root for the pavement"

"What job pays you to shoot people but not harm them? A photographer."

"What is the worst part about having sex with an old woman? Ever open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"What did Hitler drink, as a child? Jews!"

"Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not: a) Work related b) Mel Gibson"

"Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex... I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""