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Joke of the Day

"The tag on this hot tub reads ""6 man"" when I clearly ordered a 1 man 5 woman hot tub. This one is going back!"

"Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it's best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord."

"This morning I found out the terrible news about David Bowie, He released a new album."

"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tuna piano, but nobody can piano a tuna!"

"Whoever invented knock knock jokes... Should get a no bell prize"

"What did the river say when it saw the beavers? I'll be dammed."

"I like my women how I like my coffee Cheap, easily picked up And found later in a disposable plastic container."

"If your name is Susan, I surmise you're lazy. If your name is Tom, I posit you're a peeper. If your name is Jason, I automatically assume... YOU'RE A CUNT!!! NO! SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU, JASON!!!"

"Anti-Jokes So a horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse says, ""My wife is dying of terminal cancer."""

"What do you call the chicken between the chicken thigh and the chicken wing? The chicken butt"