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Joke of the Day

"The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping."

"Did you hear about the homemade poison ivy remedy? You can make it from scratch."

"Find someone who shares your values & dreams- but likes a different kind of dipping sauce for chicken strips so you don't have to share that"

"Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia? The airport is Snowden"

"Oh, you're an American? Yeah, right. Name 5 disastrous foreign policy decisions."

"Jokes about the handicapped aren't funny. They're lame."

"GOP threatens to shutdown government unless Obama changes color of skin."

"Some people are about as useful as the ""r"" in February."

"Have you seen the new Stephen Hawking's movie? They say it's too good you won't be able to move from your seat the entire film."

"The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house."