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Joke of the Day

"The new pool lifeguard was talking to his boss about his experience so far ""There's an exceptional amount of friendly people here. It's been at least seven who has waved at me."""

Next Joke
 
"*grammar police reads ransom note* ""Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead"" *grammar cop dies* ""Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"""
"I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like ""Ugh, tourists""."
"Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of S#!t... ...the first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, ""Come on man! I'm Eatin' Here!"" Boom."
"What's the difference between dead babies and salads? I don't put my salads in the microwave before I eat them"
"Bumped into a friend of mine the other day. He was wearing camouflage."
"Why should you separate something into 62 parts if you want to make it tiny? Because sixty-seconds=minute."
"Men are a lot like shopping carts, when you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a wife pushing it around."
"BDSM browsing reddit... Just a dom looking for a sub."
"What's worse than sucking 12 raw oysters out of your grandma's vagina? Realizing you only put in 11"