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Joke of the Day

"Why should you separate something into 62 parts if you want to make it tiny? Because sixty-seconds=minute."

"What part of the road is always crying? The breakdown lane."

"In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30."

"Did you hear about the fish that went deaf? It had to buy a herring aid"

"I'm so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards"

"I'd do well in a zombie apocalypse because I'm near sighted, get cramps if I don't get enough potassium and my only skill is googling things"

"I told my wife I was going to the toilet. She said, ""Don't forget to spray."" Now there's piss everywhere."

"PRO TIP: Name your first child ""butter"", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say ""I can't believe it's not butter!"""

"Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication."

"Q: What do you call a spooky waterway? A: The Eerie Canal."