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Joke of the Day

"Makes eye contact with female. Medusa."

"What do you call a comedian that can't get a girl pregnant? Carl Barron"

"How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house? His tricycle will be parked outside."

"How does Moses get his coffee? He buys it from Starbucks..."

"Waitress: would you like another drink? Me: Are you new?"

"Who Is Jay Gatsby's Favorite Comic Book Character? Deadpool."

"Things I Suck At: 1. straws, ha ha jk lol 2. Parallel parking, no seriously, I'm really terrible at this 3. straws, haha same joke as before"

"I prefer to think in terms of ""good"" cholesterol and ""misunderstood"" cholesterol."

"What should you do when you are cold? Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees"

"Why was the dog banned from the redwood forest? He was barking up the wrong tree."